April 25, 1991
Beavers Develop Hair Restorer Formula
The Gower Beaver Club is very proud to report that it's Research and Deep Thought Department headed by the Amazing Dr. G.D. Hughes has accomplished a medical break-through. The results are documented with the photos above.
Two weeks ago we had in the column an article about Gower's Shield of Shelter Representative, Gene Snyder's naked noggin' and poked a little fun at this "something to grow on" ad. Dr. Hughes and his team have developed a hair restorer and the results can be seen in the photo... above left. Gene is ecstatic. He considers his new "mop" the mother of all hair-do's. Gene has long suffered form an inferiority complex, not form his diminishing hair but he thought Railroad Avenue's Barber, Doug Wilson has been cheating him for years by continuin' to charge him the same price for considerable less work. Gene can't wait to hop in the chair and feel like he's getting his money's worth. He can't make up his mind whether to get a razor cut on the sides, a spike on top, a rat-tail behind or maybe a Whoopi Goldberg braid?!?! He figures this time he'll give Dough a good trimmin'.
The picture on the right is Joe Lanning, a drifter form Lathrop who like to hang around the Old Feed Shed... for what reason we have no idea!?!? Joe is an old fruit jar tipper and the Beaver's Research and Deep Thought Department left the left-over tonic from Gene's treatment in the refrigerator in a fruit jar in the Old Buggy Shed. Joe tipped it up and dribbled some of it over his chin. You can see the results are quite evident from the above photo. Mr. Lanning studied fruit jar tipping under mentor Mike Nelson of Lathrop. The Beaver Club one considered membership for these two characters, but for some strange reason the considerations were astray!!!
The formula for this tonic is still a secret with a patent pending, but we were able to learn that the two main ingredients are Miracle Gro and Hummingbird droppings. The Beaver's plan to market it under the name "Miracle DooDoo"!!!!
ATTENTION: A special salute to Eager Beaver Reader Mrs. Jones who lives north of Holt, Missouri who husband is a patient at Leavenworth Veteran's Hospital... YES, THE CHARACTERS IN THE BEAVER NEWS ARE REAL!!!!
April 23, 1971
The winners of the Chamber of Commerce Poster contest received their awards last week. The winners are shown in the front row left to right: Lee May, Curtis Pelzel, Rachelle, Barmann, and Craig Moody. Francis Hales and Mrs. Hartell (back row) presented the Chamber of Commerce awards.
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